he shaved USA in his pubs
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
