Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
