i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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