I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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