It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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