he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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