time to smoke my breakfast
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
