I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
