READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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