And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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