Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
