I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize