Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize