Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
