remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
