i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
