That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
