Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
