There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
