its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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