yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
