We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
