Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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