Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My balls are so social today.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
