Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
