Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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