she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
