Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
