He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Moan for me like Helen Keller
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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