alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
tell me about the fingering
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