the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
