I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize