You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
