Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize