it was like his penis was on wheels.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize