When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
