I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
