I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
