It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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