I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
