summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
