it was like his penis was on wheels.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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