It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize