Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize