Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize