I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize