The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
