her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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