i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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