I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
