we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
But break dance skills will only take you so far
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
