$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
