so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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