You're so nebulous sometimes
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
