I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I am naked and annoyed.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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