i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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