____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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