Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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