FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
