He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
