In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
