i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
